Thanksgiving 2008

This is Cutie Pie. I snapped 15 pictures yesterday, she was the subject in 11 of them.

Cutie Pie is the smallest domestic animal to grace our home. She's a member of the DeFreitas family who joined us in celebrating all we have to be thankful for.

It was a great holiday for us. I spent weeks planing and preparing the feast. We enjoyed a wonderful meal, good friends and the premiere of Storytellers, Kid Rock on VH1. I owe our guests an apology for my repeated comments about lame audience members, "Look at her/him! Show some appreciation for the Kid! That should have been me!"

I vowed to spend today on our couch. We watched movies, ate leftovers and did as little as possible. I think I'm onto a new Dewey family tradition.

Moments To Be Thankful For

With Sam in my life there are days I feel exasperated and exhausted. I also have many moments to cherish. Mae and Dave stepped out for an hour or so this afternoon. I took Sam out to look at deer tracks in the snow. We speculated about where the deer had come from, what they were doing in our backyard and where they went after their visit. When we were outside, he found his Tonka truck and wanted to bring it inside. The truck was covered with snow. I told him we should put it on a towel next to the wood stove to melt all the snow off. When inside, he discovered tossing small bits of snow on the woodstove makes a cool hissing sound and then the snow evaporates. I brought more snow in for him and he said, "Mama, I'm soooo happy to have snow to throw at the stove." I don't know why, but it melted my heart.

Responding to Change

Yesterday and today I've been aware of the empty pasture outside our window. I find it disorienting especially with Murdoch's recent passing. I told Dave how looking at the pasture makes me feel. He told me he hasn't noticed the pasture, he notices the empty dog bed by the wood stove. When I think of Murdoch I feel love more than loss. I do miss him awful. However, I'd been preparing myself for the day when it became too hard to be Murdoch. It was extremely difficult to let go, but when I put a hand on my heart I feel him there and know we did right by him.

The Week of Many Changes

We said goodbye to Muroch.

Peanut was placed with a family south of Middlebury.

The girls are now living in Franklin with a menagerie of beloved farm animals.

Sam turned five.

This morning Sam and Mae observed Jenny admiring birds at our new feeder.

Murdoch

November 1995 -November 2008

Without a Doubt, The Best Friend I've Ever Had

Murdoch is still with us, his hind-end weakness has escalated and is affecting his quality of life. The condition is not painful to him. Thankfully he continues to receive pleasure from loving attention and food. For months, Dave and I have accepted it is hard to be Murdoch. Today was a signal that told us a time for doing the right thing is eminent.

1997

Murdoch at 2 years old

Our first Autumn together

Fall 1998

Murdoch was Kilo's first trainer

The month Murdoch turned 8, Sam was born. I loved Murdoch even more when he accepted infant Sam's need for me. Murdoch would park himself close-by whenever I nursed, always on duty.

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There is one more treatment that might buy us a week or two. The effectiveness would be evident within a day. We will try it tomorrow and if he doesn't respond to it, we will do right by him.

Unconditional Love

We adopted Murdoch from a rescue group when he was 18months old. The above photo was taken at Ricker Pond State Park in 2001. This month, he is 13-years-old. Dogs his size often do not reach their 13th birthday. Dave and I witness his hind end strength weaken daily. This evening Sam and I had a tearful conversation. I told him Murdoch is old and weak, like my Grammy was. Every day we should be super nice and tell him how much we love him. I feel the day he cannot support himself with dignity is near. I'm so scared. I don't want him to suffer, at the same time I don't want to say goodbye sooner than I have to.

Open for Business

One thing I've always wanted was a feeder for bird watching. With no trees near the barn we don't have a good spot for it. Years ago we had feeders in the apple tree that died and had to be cut down. I wonder if woodpeckers had something to do with it? Yesterday Dave made me this wonderful feeding station. We can see it from the kitchen and our livingroom. Woodpeckers can peck all they want, they are beautiful to watch along with blue jays, finches, cardinals, rose-throated grossbeaks, chicadees, you name it we love to watch it.

Tazor, Murdoch, Jack

My Favorite Holiday

One of my favorite memories as a child was trick or treating with my Mom and Grammy. I had a leopard costume that had been made by my Grandmother Edith. Wearing it made me feel proud. There is something magical about trick or treating, spooky decorations, the smell of burning pumpkin and seeing a street filled with children in costume.

My Grandmother Edith taught me how to sew. I made a promise to myself that my kids would always have a fabulous costume made by me for Halloween. I imagine some day they will take it for granted. I also believe there will be a time in their adult lives when they remember me spending days at my sewing machine, shooing them away and cursing through pins sticking out of my mouth. When they bring their kids trick or treating and see spooky decorations, smell burning pumpkin, and look down a street filled with costumed children I hope they are reminded of me and remember how much I love them.

Catching Up

Woke up to snow last Tuesday

Sam brought in a bucket of snow to share with Mae