Las Vegas Stories

As I wait for a shuttle to the airport I'm thinking about my funny Vegas memories.

My friend Bernie hasn't flown since 9/11 and was anxious about going through a security checkpoint for the first time. After his bags passed through the x-ray machine a homeland security officer reached into Bernie's bag and withdrew a screwdriver. Unaware it had been in his bag Bernie held up his hands and instructed the officer to please dispose of it. The terror in his eyes must have reassured the agent Bernie wasn't a threat. He measured the tool and returned it to Bernie's bag.

On Tuesday when I was attending my conference, Bernie relaxed at the condo. He treated himself to a soak in the jacuzzi tub. Neither of us were aware maid service would be offered mid-week. Both he and our Spanish-speaking maid surprised one another.

The Vegas strip and casinos are full of time-share pushers. In order to qualify for promotional gifts, couples need to attend a high-pressure sales presentation and be either married or share the same address. Most were speechless when informed we were neither married or co-habitating. The best reaction was, "Well, if you're going to do it, do it right! What happens in Vegas...."

Attending a conference at the Las Vegas Hilton I was treated to amazing meals. Twice I took pictures of gorgeous desserts with my phone and texted them to Dave back home. Today we went to Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. Bernie snapped a suggestive photo of me and adult film star Jenna Jamison. Most of our photos taken with the statues look eerily real. The picture I texted Dave was very convincing. When we spoke later, he asked me who that woman was. When I told him it was Jenna Jamison he got very excited and asked where I'd met her.

I return home in the morning and with the exception of me and Jenna, will post my vacation photos.