Deweybarn Holiday Season 2010

Last weekend we attended a special Santa greeting organized for children on the autism spectrum. Sam, Mae and I had fun decorating cookies, making ornaments and new friends. Mae enjoyed playing at a sensory table filled with various treasures buried in rice. It wasn't long before she lured in three kids to play with her. Two of them seemed anxious when they arrived and I think non-verbal. "Here ya go", she said to one boy handing him a cup full of rice. Another boy sat down with his dad and Mae engaged both of them by sharing trinkets she found in the rice. I got choked up watching her work.

Chico waiting for Santa

Christmas morning Sam and Mae decided they should stack everything from under the tree onto the table. Sam found a stray bow, placed it on his head and said, "Look Mae, I'm a present!"

Burgermeister, Meisterburger

We watched the old claymation holiday show "Santa Claus is Comin' to Town" a few times this past week. There is a scene toward the end of the show when the Bugermeister's portrait falls off the wall. The narrator, Fred Astaire explains the Burgermeister fell out of power and soon people forgot him and his laws.

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The headline in today's paper read: 'Don't ask, don't tell' policy to end. Reading the article, especially statements of those opposed to repealing the law, I thought about the scene when Burgermeister's portrait fell from the wall. "The Burgermeister, (Don't ask, don't tell) fell out of power and soon people forgot him and his laws."

Metamorphosis

Chico on June 29, 2010

Chico December 16, 2010

He's friggin' huge! He is also very smart, sweet and affectionate. He is going to be an amazing police dog.

I Was Powerless

I went to buy wool socks for Sam this afternoon. Wandering around a store without a deadline or anyone tugging on my sleeve was wonderful. I spotted these little beauties in Mae's size. On the way home I called Dave to tell him about my purchases. He thought we should wrap the bounty and put it under the tree for Christmas morning. I said, "They are six and four! They don't want clothes, socks and shoes for Christmas!" His logic was more things to unwrap on Christmas morning. I hate to, but I concede when it comes to the shoes.

"Mama, It's A Wild Tree."

This year, we harvested a tree from our property. Once it was up, Sam and I discussed what we like about our tree. Our tree grew naturally, not on a farm. A seed simply dropped from another tree and grew on its own. We love that our tree isn't groomed. It was shaped by where it grew without human intervention. "Mama, it's a wild tree."

"I'm ready for my close-up"

Some days Mae insists on assembling her attire. Her choices are always fabulous!

Bathtime Gone Wild

Mae and I were making beds and picking out bedtime books when we heard the tub's air jets turn on. We then heard, "Hey guys, look at this!"

"I put the red soap in and look what happened!"

Hearts, Hands and Horses

Our Mae is a little cowgirl. We started Hippotherapy about a month ago and Mae is flourishing!

He's Too Cool

On this day Sam turned 7. We celebrated by holding a barn dance with a few friends and family. Hmm, while composing this post I just noticed there is a dog under the table while the kids are eating cake! Typical. Anyway, as Sam got ready for bed I asked if he had a good birthday. He told me, "Yes I did!" Then he said, "Mama it would have been even cooler if Kid Rock was here to meet you." Every year on Sam's birthday we talk about the night he was born. After 7 birthdays he knows we listened to Kid Rock in the delivery room.

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Sam wanting to make the day special for me did make his birthday even cooler.

Simple

The most important thing in Jack's world is to know where I am. Whenever I go into the bathroom I hear him coming, he peeks around the door for a split second, then settles down nearby. Jack is the only living thing in my life that is completely satisfied by just knowing where I am. Second-hand-one-eared-dogs are the best!

"She Has Autism"

This afternoon Sam and I watched Mae play soccer with her team. A little blonde boy, who is also a player was seated nearby. Mae's and boy's soccer mentors took advantage when Mae chose to engage with him and suggested they pass the ball. With much encouragement they passed the ball a few times before Mae headed off to do something else. Sam explained to the little boy and his family, "She has autism." Hearing him explain his sister's behavior in a place where explanations aren't necessary struck me as funny. I laughed out loud.

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In retrospect, I realize Sam wants people to love his sister as he does. When Sam perceives her social cues are confusing, his job is to be her translator.

Sibling Alliance

This past weekend Sam and Mae conflicts were resolved at my expense. On Saturday, Sam teased Mae by withholding her butterfly fairy wings. After being ordered to return them, I saw the wings were mangled. Mae was still freaking out so I got out of the van and opened her door to see if I could fix them. I then slipped in mud. They both had a good laugh, butterfly wing incident forgotten.

The next day we returned from an overnight visit. Mae was tired and Sam was baiting her. I then slipped in a pile of dog poop. Once again, they had a good laugh and chanted, "Mommy stepped in poop! Mommy stepped in poop!" for what seemed like an eternity.

I might be on to something. I could learn some self-deprecating physical comedy techniques, perhaps I'll have success switching them from an arguement to a treaty. After all, it is pretty damn funny when people fall.

TOP Soccer

On Sunday we brought Mae to her first practice with TOP soccer. A few days ago when I told Sam about it he expressed concern, "What about her autism?" I explained TOP soccer is for kids like Mae.
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The event organizer asked Mae if she was excited to play soccer. I cried happy tears when she threw her arms in the air and exclaimed, "I play with the team!" We loved watching her on the field with the two college-aged mentors assigned to her. She laughed, hummed and connected with the other players. It was fun seeing her so thrilled and independent. All the while she was under the watchful eyes of her brother.

A-Mae-zing

Within the past month, Mae has shown significant progress with self-care. She wants to do it herself and she does it well. Tonight as we got ready for bath, she neatly placed her dirty clothes in the hamper and climbed into the tub on her own. I said, "Mae, I'm so proud of you. You are good at doing things for yourself. You are my a-Mae-zing Mae" She smiled, did a happy wiggle and said, "I'm a lot of things." She's right.

Skid School

Wow. In a Volvo, I matted the accelerator for over 100ft, then slammed on the brakes as hard as I could. Our next drill was speeding through a series of of cones without touching the brakes. Then we combined the two to simulate having something appear in front of you suddenly. The goal was to break, swerve and recover. It all took place on a closed course at Stowe Mountain Resort. The scenery was gorgeous! Not only was it super cool for me, Mae had fun running around outside. Sam drove through some of the obstacle course. He had someone accelerate and break for him, but he was pretty good at the steering wheel.

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Dave and Sam were treated to a few runs down the Alpine Slide. Not a treat for me. We offered Mae a ride with her Daddy, she declined. When she changed her mind, they were already on the chairlift. They were on top of the mountain and could hear her screaming. Not wanting her to feel left out, we decided to take her on a run. Going up on the chairlift went fine. Waiting in line to go down was awkward, but manageable. Sitting in the sled she wanted to face me, like a monkey baby with her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. This is not allowed for safety reasons, and I couldn't contain her. Thankfully Dave was behind me. I gave up and passed her back over my head to him. He was able to restrain her long enough to get them off the launching pad, then she enjoyed herself.

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We came home over the mountain road. It was the easiest ride of the day.

I Think I Understand

My friend Jennie often says she doesn't like going downtown because it makes her feel like a country bumpkin. I never understood this. Jennie saw Queen in concert! She saw Freddie Mercury rocking those hot pants. The "cool people" on Church Street have nothing on her.
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In the past month I've been in and out of Burlington often. Last month while navigating my van around a small gas station, I collided with a cement barricade and caused major damage to the passenger side. At the beginning of the month, trying to park in a tiny visitor garage I scuffed up against some one's car. When exiting the tiny garage I backed into the building and cracked my right tail light cover.
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Yesterday I experienced the final straw. The Deweychildren had an appointment downtown. At the end of their appointment, Mae was within eyeshot as I spoke with the provider about scheduling our next visit. Suddenly the fire alarm went off. Mae ran to me from the direction of the fire alarm pull, her arms outstretched as she shouted "Turn it off! Turn it off!" The building was evacuated. When firetrucks came Mae exclaimed, "Fire Trucks, Woo Woo!"
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I still enjoy going downtown. However, I now have a new appreciation for my friend Jennie's statement.

Why I'll Never Buy A New Couch

Her brother taught her this

Summer on Chapin Road

Over the years we have had several hot air balloons drift or land nearby. Two nights ago a balloon landed in our neighbor's yard. It was Sam's second opportunity to assist a landing crew pack up their balloon. There is a tradition where the balloon team offers a cold bottle of champagne to the family who resides where they land. Lucky for me, our neighbor chose to pass that bottle on to us!

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Tuesday evening when we followed the balloon home, we passed three people riding horses down Chapin Road. I commented, "This is a great road for walking, running and riding...until you get to the red barn with the barking dogs." This afternoon I got home from the store and found Jack and Charky in the mudroom. They were inside the house when we left. In the living room one of our screens had been broken through and there was a new message on the answering machine. Our neighbor saw them running down the road with a jogger who flagged her down, "Are these your dogs?" "Nope, but I know where they live." Once again, great road for recreation until you pass the red barn with the barking dogs.

Life Of A Rock Star

Taking a break on the tour bus.

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I can't believe I haven't written a post since May, but then again I can believe it. It's either crazy busy or I think a "Whoa is me" post wouldn't be interesting. This afternoon Mae gave me a perfect blog worthy moment. When I found her like this I thought it looked like she was sleeping on a tour bus. I'm sure to pay for this later at bedtime but damn, she's tired and hot. I've eaten three Popsicles since 1pm. I don't do hot very well.

Dewey Disney Vacation

During our five nights at Disneyworld we experienced magical moments to treasure forever. It was especially magical to share the experience with our young children. We are fortunate Disney recognizes autism as a condition that qualifies to receive a Guest Assistance Card. We were able to use secondary entrances, access special seating for shows and were shuffled to the front of the line for character greetings.

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The Deweychildren did present some challenges. The most interesting was an altercation on a packed Disney Transportation Bus on the way back to our resort from Hollywood Studios. It was the first time I entered a bus with Mae in my arms and no one offered us a seat. Instantly, Mae threw a fit and lunged for a lap and kicked Sam in the process. Sam grabbed her leg, pulled it and scolded her for kicking him. Mae moved into full meltdown mode. I held her close and sang to her. My plan was to shut out stimulation overload and have her focus on my voice. I heard the woman next to me say, "Guys, settle down. There are children on the bus." I thought, "Oh, it'll be ok. Dave is up there, he has experience diffusing hot situations." When I looked up I saw Dave was part of the hot situation.

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When Mae started melting down some punk said, "Someone better shut that kid up before I beat her."

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"What did you say?"

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"Someone better shut that kid up before I beat her."

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"Are you threatening to beat my four-year-old autistic daughter?"

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"Sorry man! I didn't know, I'm really sorry."

He Knows Important Details

This afternoon one of Sam's teachers tried catching up with me after I dropped off Mae. When she missed me in Mae's classroom she went into Sam's kindergarten class. She asked him, "Sam what kind of car does your mother drive?" Sam's reply, "She doesn't have a car. She only has a van with Kid Rock on it."

Miss Him

Our screensaver rotates through our picture album. Recently, I caught the last second of this image before it changed to another. Everything stopped and I said aloud, "I want more." Immediately I sat and changed this to our wallpaper. Sometimes I think I would give anything to wrap my arms around that barrel chest and smell his old-dog-smell again.

Classic

Here she is moments before the four-foot-long pink balloon popped.

Today Was Mae's Day

Three Princesses

Today we celebrated Mae's Birthday all afternoon. Uncle Buster, Sharon and cousin Jake came up from NH to join our first party of the afternoon. We booked space at a Bouncy House facility for Mae and her classmates. It was great seeing pigtails fly, big smiles and Mae play with her friends. I was thrilled when a couple who share a close connection with Mae showed up unexpectedly.

Our next celebration was with Mae's grown-up friends. Uncle Buster, Sharon and Jake made the transition smooth. I'm not used to having so many helping hands. Most everyone at Mae's birthday dinner party had been part of her baby welcoming ceremony. Dave observed that by the end of the evening she made a deliberate connection with everyone here.

Today was Mae's day.

It's Complicated

This morning I caught the last hour of an HBO documentary called "Autism:The Musical". The movie documents a group of autistic children as they write, rehearse and perform their own musical. The documentary includes interviews with parents. Watching it shook me up.

She's three now. People notice there is something different about her, but she's so little it isn't awkward yet. How will it be when she's fourteen? I'm also scared about her being vulnerable when she becomes independent. Predators choose easy victims.

Alongside my fears, I received awareness. She'll be four in 11 days. Inside her is a developing four-year-old brain. I believe she receives information like a four-year-old. She wants things a four-year-old wants. Tonight we went to a family dance at her school. She watched as everyone played a Simon Says type of game. I explained the rules to her and told her she could play if she wanted to. My heart swelled when she did.

Just Look At Her

There are days she needs to do things a certain way and it's a royal pain trying to figure her out. Thankfully we know about her autism. Now we celebrate her becoming a four-year-old girl, whatever challenges that may bring for us.

Akward Moment

This and other stories were presented during our first Parent-Teacher conference. The purpose was to demonstrate Sam's developing writing skills. I started laughing. Then declared, "We're not swingers!" I'm sure that idea hadn't entered the teachers mind until I said that.

Thinks He's A Big Dog

Here is our wiener dog playing tug-of-war with the police dog. I know he's trying to be serious, but it's always funny coming from such a little guy.

The Machine

Experienced police k-9 handlers and trainers have referred to him as a machine. He is focused, quick and virtually unstoppable. Tazor was bred to be a working dog.

I met him less than a month after Kilo died. The night before Dave went to get him I couldn't breath. When they were on their way home from the airport I held the box with Kilo's ashes and cried my heart out. The first thing Tazor did when he entered our home was jump up to lick tears from my face.

Having Tazor in our home has required a higher level of responsibility. When we hire a babysitter for date night we can't leave him home with an untrained handler. If we go on vacation, our house sitter options are limited. He is a bizarre combination of bad ass to the world and big baby to few. Tazor is home tonight without Dave. It's sweet to have him clingy and sensitive with me.