Sunday

Sunday morning doughnuts leave cinnamon sugar in Mae's hair and chocolate on Sam's face. Nellie and Okemo in the pasture outside my kitchen window. A momentary reprieve from chaos.

Recharged

After the goat trauma post I went for a chiropractic adjustment. The vet called back and advised an injectable anti-inflammatory and an antibiotic. Whew, only $42. On Tuesday I cashed in a gift certificate on a one hour massage. I felt like a goddess when I left. Then Dave was kind enough to let me sleep in the guest room that night while he dealt with Mae's nocturnal needs. I woke up a few times during the night, smiled, stretched out and enjoyed having the bed to myself. One night's sleep without tending to the needs of another. Meant the world to me.

Goat Trauma

Sometimes the chaos makes my head want to explode, or rest it in the oven. Another gorgeous day so Sam, Mae and I headed for the backyard. I purposely left the dogs in because I didn't want to worry about Jack wandering. The wind must have blown the door open, I looked up to see him happily trotting down the hill. He headed right for the llama pasture, jumped through the electric fence and started chasing Bill, the youngest goat. Dave wasn't home, neighbors weren't home, Mae screamed every time I put her down. Nothing I could do but watch and wait until he wore himself out and came back. At first it was entertaining, Peanut was chasing Jack trying to butt at him, the two of them dancing around the pasture got Mae giggling. Then what looked playful turned ugly, Jack started chasing Peanut and grabbed hold of his hind leg. Peanut sharted bleating and running away with Jack's jaw locked on to his hind quarter. He managed to get away a few times and led Jack up to the shelter. I put Mae down, ran in, grabbed Jack and brought him in the house. Poor Peanut. He's limping, and there is swelling just above his knee. Thankfully Jack has bad teeth and didn't break the skin. We are waiting for a call back from the vet. Sometimes I wonder if we'd be better off to just stay inside.

Earth Day

Sunday was a gorgeous day. There was an Earth Day celebration at St.Michael's College with two local bands playing. I packed up the kids and headed out for a fun, free afternoon. Well it was fun but whether or not it was free remains to be seen. Sam listened very well when asked to stay close while I loaded Mae in the backpack. As my back was too him he chattered away and then said, "Mommy I did it". Rarely is that a good statement. I turned to see he had decorated the nice, red, shiny Land Rover next to us in the parking lot with his matchbox car. Small circular patterns were etched on the right rear door. I left a note explaining my three year old son had scratched the door and left my name and number. That was yesterday and they haven't called yet. I did notice a bumper sticker on the back that read "You get what you give", I hope they choose to give mercy.

Don't Be Fooled

This sweetness does not reflect my version of the day, but for them it may. My peak of insanity occurred this morning when I realized my set if keys had fallen out of my pocket when we were outside. One week after the snow storm it was warm and sunny. We had been blowing bubbles, playing in the grass and watching a footrace on our road. I was holding Mae as I went out to look for my keys. Jack sneaked out, then pandemonium. There was a steady stream of runners. Jack kept coming close enough for me to think I could catch him then off he went. I knew I didn't stand a chance with Mae in my arms so I brought her back in the house, meanwhile Sam got out. I can only imagine what these runners thought hearing Mae screaming from inside, seeing Sam and Jack running free (although Sam did find my keys for me), me with my hands in the air saying "I'm about to have a fucking breakdown". Thankfully, my neighbor was in her garden and heard my statement. She came to my rescue and managed to entice Jack into her clutches. I called her a goddess, thanked her, then hustled Sam and Jack into the house so I could experience my embarrassement behind closed doors. Oy.

Mother Earth Has Healing Power

There are things that get to me lately, nothing that won't pass, but are consuming nonetheless. I struggled tonight when I found myself obsessing about them when I was holding a beautiful, sleeping baby in my arms while rubbing my nearly sleeping son's back. I was living in a precious moment, but my mind was fretting about things that should take a back seat to my private life. When I took the dogs out tonight, the dirt road had just been grated and I smelled fresh earth. Stars were shining and a sliver of moon illuminated silhouettes of bare tree branches against the night sky. In the distance I heard peepers! Peepers! Earth, moon, stars, and peepers. I inhaled it all, then exhaled all the baggage and found a moment of peace.

Jack Welcomes Me Home

We adopted Jack about a month ago, we are guessing he is about four years old, a shepherd mix with an amputated left earlobe. He'd been in foster care for three years and pretty much lived outside. He is really great, amazing and sweet. Jack settled in wonderfully and as the weeks pass we see his comfort level growing. Tonight when I got home from work was the first time I saw his whole body wag, his ear was back and he looked like he was smiling. Every day he presents me with a reason to be greatful for him in our life.

If he could be a fly on the wall

Last Friday night as I was getting our children to bed, I could feel my husband's eyes on me. Previously we had a "divide and conquer" technique, but now he is working 12 hour nights we need a new routine. I was bathing them, frequently reminding Sam what it means to be nice to your sister. I read bedtime stories, trying to quell Mae's whining and re-direct Sam from distraction. My husband told me I have the patience of a saint. Tonight is his work night. As Mae screamed continuously, I drew their bath, got them undressed, cleaned up, dried off, dressed in pajamas, teeth brushed, and diverted a few meltdowns from Sam. I thought he doesn't know the half of it! It is fortunate we both agree a good day is when we put happy babies to bed. If the morning comes and the dinner dishes are still in the sink, he's good about washing them. These chaotic moments always pass. I remind myself someday it will be quiet again and I will miss the noise.

Nellie and the Nor'easter

A mid-April storm is worth documenting. However, Nellie was not impressed when I encouraged her out of the shelter to strike a pose.

Childcare made easy

This is Sam. For some reason, our children enjoy exploring the dog crate. Fine by me, in fact it is terribly tempting to use it during those acutely stressful moments. Although, we would not welcome a visit from Social Rehabilitative Services so we struggle to control ourselves.

Babies sing the blues at 5am

We are caring for a friend's police dog this week. I don't think he's had much exposure to 14 month olds who don't sleep through the night. Mae woke up and was sputtering from her crib, Casko responded with an "Ahrooroorooo" each time. It sounded like they were singing the blues. My husband and I treasure our sleep, but did take a moment to appreciate the duet.