Here It Is, My 100th Post

We went to a Halloween party for kids aged 6 and under. There were photos taken of everyone in costume, fun activities, goodie bags, a costume parade, and a pinata at the end. I was nervous when the costume parade headed outside. I wasn't expecting that, Mae was out of her costume and it was cold outside. All I could do was hope for the best as I watched my little Peter Pan march away. Thankfully I was not disappointed. After wrapping Mae in my coat and getting the camera ready, their parade was nearly over. No one was scolding Sam or looking at me with that, "You have your hands full" look. I tried to snap his picture. He had moved forward and was now leading the parade. As you can see, he spotted us and abandoned his post before I could capture it.

After the party we went home to carve pumpkins, toast seeds and have dinner by jack-o-lantern light. What a great day. As my friend Anna says, "Every now and then they throw us a bone". Despite being jacked up on pinata candy (which Sam so sweetly shared with Mae and I), and missing Daddy, the three of us shared a very special day together.

Deweybarn Saturday Night Festivities

I'm glad to have savoured my party days. For now I savour these days, understanding how precious they are.

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There are certainly times I feel sunk. Overwhelmed and disgusted with myself that not only is every room in my house a disaster, the yard is a mess, and every time the van doors open I quickly get my kids in or out before someone can see inside. There are days when my pre-baby body feels long gone. Speaking of long, my pits, legs and bikini line.....I probably shouldn't even bring that up. It's easy to wallow in this. Thankfully there are times when the big picture becomes clear and I realize putting happy babies to bed is the best reward for the toil of my day.

Creamies in the Minivan

Isn't that somethin? I don't remember ever being allowed to make a mess like that. Notice Mae's shiner? Sam took a poke at her last Sunday while I was taking a quick shower. As Dave said tonight, "She's going to be one tough little girl"

"Daddy, I Miss Kilo"

Random comment from the mouth of babes when our hearts are feeling exactly the same. One year ago, he was with us. I still feel the weight of him walking around and his protective eyes on me. We find his long, stiff black hairs in the dryer lint. When weeding out toys from the kid's toybox, I could hardly see through tears falling on my glasses as I pulled out handfulls of black fur from the corners. A friend of ours summed it up, "He was a local celebrity". He really was. My heart swells with pride when I remember all the connections he made. Kilo was known by school children, Boy Scout Troups, Special Olympians and demonstrations at Vermont State Parks. Also, he is remembered by lost people that he found, by some bad guys with scars from a well deserved bite, or by seizure of something they should not have had in the first place.

Our family has been overwhelmed and moved by support from the community who shares our great loss. Next month we will note the anniversary of his passing. It's hard to believe he has been gone nearly a year. At the same time it seems like an eternity since I've touched him.

Had Myself a Pity Party This Afternoon

Thankfully Dave gave me a little time to sleep in because the Deweybarn was not a pleasant place this morning. Sam and I were on the same track as last evening, it was ugly. I was constantly counting to ten (and counting the minutes until I could bring him to school).
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After we dropped Sam at school, Mae and I headed for a much deserved lunch date. She fell asleep on our way to the restaurant. In hindsight I realize I should have handled things differently. We went in to the restaurant, I plunked Mae in a highchair at the table with our friends and headed for the buffet to fill our plate. I had two things on the plate when I heard her wailing! Poor thing was really freaked out. After the explosion she was not going back into that highchair. She and I went up together to finish filling our plate, she was fine. We sat down. It is difficult to eat a meal in a civilized manner with a squerming baby on your lap. Anna brought Mae a little dish of pudding and a spoon, which she loved and settled right down. I thought maybe I'd try the highchair again. She had a fit, waved her arms with a spoonful of pudding and whacked me right in the eye. I had an eye full of vanilla pudding and a freaked out child in my arms. After cleaning my face with a paper napkin, I opened my eye to realize I'd wiped out my contact lense! Damn it all! After a tough evening, a morning of the same, I really wanted to enjoy a meal out with friends! Other than the pleasure of seeing good friends, it sucked!
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Thankfully my contact lense was just tucked up into my eyelid. Outside when we were saying our goodbyes it slid back into place. That would have driven me nuts navigating my way home with one eye out of focus. My friend Barb said, "Good! One less thing to worry about." In the words of my Grammy, "That's life". No kidding.

"He is a poster child for birth control"

The comment above was from my husband, being late on his way to work. He had been on the road 2 minutes when I phoned to ask if he could be late for work. His response was, "No" as the two people on the road were on overtime. My response, "Your son has purple nail polish on one eyelid and red polish poured onto his left eye!" He promptly turned around to assist me with the crisis.

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Two hours preceding this incident were riddled with drama. Sam was on a mission to test every boundary and to find more ground to test. After he finished dinner I saw him going toward the play room. I was feeding yogurt to Mae and thought it was too quiet. I went to the playroom to find it empty. "Sam? Sam?" "I'm in here Mommy!" I turned the corner to see him standing on the toilet with a purple stripe on his right eyelid. His hand was poised above his left eye with the red nail polish. I screamed and covered the space between us in record time. I immediately started the shower and tossed him in to flush out what I could. When Dave got home he called the poison center. They recommeded flushing it, as we were doing. Sam was in the shower for about 20 minutes. The polish left on his body (eyelid, chest, feet) will eventually slough off. I managed to scrub away the newly applied red polish on the left side of his face.

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That bugger! After he was dry and calm, he looked at me with his head tilted to the left and said, "Mommy, you're my friend".

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After everyone was in bed I called my Grammy. I said, "Grammy, I had the kind of night where I'd like to send him back where he came from." Her response, "I hate to tell you Pam, but that's life." She never was one to mince words.

Balloon Chasing

One of the first things I do in the morning is get the dogs out. This morning we were greeted with this beautiful sight! We thought it looked like it might land nearby. Dave was out with the van so Sam, Mae and I quickly dressed and jogged up the road. We were just in time to see them touchdown. Very Cool.

Busted!

If you look closely you'll see the little purple bowl of leftover butternut squash in his chops, which he clearly stole from the table.

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About a week ago, in the middle of the night, I heard Jack get up from his cushion at the foot of our bed and head downstairs. A few seconds later I heard the crash of a 5 gallon water jug we keep on top of the trash to keep Jack out. I woke up Dave and said, "I think Jack knocked off the water jug and is into the trash". He jumped to his feet and flew down stairs. He said he saw Jack, "Up to his eyeballs in the garbage and his tail was wagging". Dave sneaked up on him, grabbed something off the counter and threw it at him. I heard a growl, then four paws racing up the stairs. Apparently he didn't know what hit him. As tired as we were in the wee hours of the morning, I couldn't stop laughing at the image of Jack being surprised during an unguarded moment.

Looking For Feedback Please.....

Would I be "selling out" if I signed up for Adsense? That means advertisements would appear off to the side of my blog. I'm reluctant, but a little tempted. Please let me know. Anonymous comments are welcome. I have it set up to moderate comments because some foreign dude commented with a link to sell t-shirts once. Pissed me off. I won't block any relevant comments (unless you don't want it published-then let me know). Thank you!

"I'm Sorry, My Dog Ate Your Registration Paperwork"

Tazor, a working dog Belgian Malinois. Enough said.

From The Archive

During the process of buying our barn Dave asked the previous owners what they were going to do with the duck. Their reply, "Why, do you want him?". His name was Hiccups and he had personality. I used to love looking out the window to see him picking through the grass for bugs, or swimming in his little pool. We eventually found a home for him. He deserved a home with a pond and other ducks to play with.

He Means What He Says

Earlier this morning we watched a show about a little boy who's fish died. The beautifully done program explained death as part of the life cycle. It covered a range of emotions and how to remember loved ones that have passed. All of this was geared toward little kids. As I watched Sam taking it in I shed a few tears for Kilo.

Later that morning we were taking a ride with our dogs, Murdoch and Jack. Sam said, "Mommy, Murdoch is sick". I explained, "No honey, he isn't sick. Murdoch has been a part of Mommy's life for a very long time and his body is getting old. Sometimes he is tired". As I was being all philosophical I realized the van smelled like dog food. I thought it was odd so I turned around to see Murdoch eating a pile of vomit. Disgusting, I know. Lesson learned, the boy means what he says.