An Image I Will Treasure

Once again, I missed a great photo opportunity. This morning I wanted to get to the store before the holiday rush. Being New Years Eve, I wanted fancy appetizers and champagne. I didn't know Dave had the night off until yesterday. A bonus night is cause for celebration any night of the year. It seemed like tons of snow had fallen overnight and it was still coming down. When out starting up the van and attempting to clear off snow, I heard the inner door open. I looked up to see Sam sporting his perpetual grin, plowing through several inches of fresh snow wearing only socks on his feet. Smiling to myself, I called him a knucklehead and told him to go inside. He looked so cute, grinning while he strutted through fresh snow without winter gear and only socks on his feet. He's definately a Vermonter.

"Daddy, Santa is trying to get that guy."

A quote from Sam as we watched the movie "Elf", starring Will Farrell. Here is an example when changing the channel is best. Will Farrell plays a human that was raised by Santa's elves. When confronted with a department store Santa he is indignant about the impersonator and conflict ensues. Dave caught the scene in time to find a distraction, I think he succeeded. I've been worried about this topic. I want to be honest with my children. I also want them to be open to magic that exists in everyday life. If Santa introduces this notion to them, we appreciate him for doing his job. Thank you Santa. At the Deweybarn, we believe.

Pretty Scary

More of Sam's pictures from Christmas. My husband insisted they be blogged.

My Son Took This Picture of Our Grammy on Christmas Day

Of all the photos taken today, this is my favorite. When I called her this morning to wish her a Merry Christmas, she told me my Uncle was coming for her to spend the day at his house. I thought, "I'd like to go to Uncle Buster's house." Dave was between night shifts and would be sleeping all day; it's only a two and a half hour drive; so I spontaneously decided to pack us up and go. I told my Uncle we were coming, but not Grammy because I thought it would be fun to surprise her. It was a wonderful visit! My kids were great, not perfect, but who is? Mae decided to strip after only an hour and insisted on being topless. Sam was good. He of course had to taunt Mae a little and sass me a few times, but overall he impressed me. I love this photo because he caught a smile in her eyes.

Okemo Update

She seems to be doing alright. The blood drawn by Dr. Thompson came back normal, I haven't heard about the fecal sample yet. Dave rolled his eyes when I told him how I felt tonight doing the llama chores. I've been tending them for a week now. Okemo continues to rule the pasture, she is smart, proud and beautiful. As I cleaned the shelter I wondered if she resented needing me. I've been focused on her, peering out the window at her, touching her, hand-feeding her grain, and frequently speaking reassuringly to her. My concerns disolved tonight when I fed her grain. As she ate from my hand, she allowed me to rest my forehead on hers. I'm glad to be primary again. I've loved watching them from the window, but it's nice being among them again.

Essex Police is Outside Writing the Accident Report Now

Just added the photo for visual interest.

Here is my all time favorite curse word: Cocksucker!!! I don't even know where to start. After the van window incident, Dave was out of town for the night so I sneaked out to do llama chores when Mae napped and Sam was at school. Okemo, our white llama didn't look right to me, and she let me touch her, which she never does without complaint. She felt skinny and didn't look very hardy. Dave had been doing the chores since I was 8 months pregnant with Sam. He rarely notices when the animals don't look good. We both feel terrible. The vet came today and confirmed my suspicions. He boosted her with vitamins, anti inflammatory, acupuncture and a dewormer. Dr. Thompson then collected blood and fecal samples screening for other problems. I've felt sick about this since last night. I spent time with them tonight, and sneaked some grain to Okemo. Something I plan to do daily until she fattens back up.

Here is where the Essex Police comes in. As Dave was on his way home from getting the van's rear window fixed and thinking, "What else can go wrong?" Wham! He hit a deer. The poor thing got up and fled to the woods, leaving my van needing more body work. There goes another $500. deductible. I won't even mention what I paid for Okemo today.

Humor is Difficult to Find Some Days

On Dave's way to the academy this morning he had trouble getting the cruiser unstuck. After fifteen minutes of toil and spinning tires he headed south, unaware that his tire spinning tossed a rock through the back window of the van. We are becoming glass repair experts at this rate. A $100. deductible is not a welcome thing around the holidays, nor is the hassle to deal with it. I really let the pity party happen when I saw Elmo and Allison Kraus on Sesame Street this morning. They were encouraging us all to do something we loved every day. I thought, "I just love cleaning up glass."

Thankfully the mom of one of Sam's school friends is able to bring him to school. Though this is a pisser, things could be worse.

She Was On To Something

At least six or seven years ago my mother confided she bought Dave this five foot long fish for a Christmas present. This news came after a series of odd gifts. I told her if she sent the fish, it would go in our next yard sale. What the heck were we going to do with an ugly, five foot long, stuffed fish?

After her death four years ago we found the fish as we were cleaning out her apartment. Feeling terrible about scolding her for buying it we decided to give it a home. Four years we've shuffled this thing around. The other day Dave used it to stop the draft under the door. In the ten winters we have lived here, nothing has done a better job squeezing out the cold.

We Were So Close...

...to having high speed Internet today. It's taken a year from signing a contract with Adelphia, (which is now Comcast) to get cable at our end of the road. I hate to say it, but today I missed a good photo opportunity. I feel badly because we all liked the guy. The pole nearest our house is on a slope. He had concerns about his ladder reaching high enough to connect the cable to our house, but was willing to try. He gave up after three or four attempts. As he dragged the heavy ladder back up a snowy, slippery hill, he fell several times. The first time we giggled, but after a while, "Dave, you need to help the poor guy!". If we had been connected to high speed internet today, I might have uploaded an amusing video clip.

Lessons One, Two, Three and a Bonus

Lesson One: It is best to live in the moment. Early in the day I caught my son about to throw a dog toy at his sister's head. I assumed this was the type of day we were to have and braced myself accordingly. Then, later that morning I caught him sweetly holding her hand while helping her practice walking skills.

Lesson Two: It takes two to tango. We four attended a birthday party for one of Sam's classmates this afternoon. Being Sam, we prepared to keep a close eye and a tight leash on our son. The tension between us increased as the hours passed. The final hour of the party whenever Dave or I tried keeping him in line, he barely acknowledged us. On our way home Dave I discussed how we feel when someone observing us assumes the worst. Our son is a handful. Our work is to find balance between discipline and allowing a chance to do the right thing.

Lesson Three: Christmas is magic. Tonight we watched "The Polar Express" that aired on ABC Family Channel. Though we've watched it with Sam the past three years, this year he really saw it. As credits rolled, Sam paced. He explained to us that when he hears the rumble, he will come downstairs to board the train. The train will take him to the North Pole and he will meet Santa. Upon his return, there will be a toy train under our tree and a bell from Santa's sleigh wrapped just for him. Children can help us rediscover the magic of youth.

Bonus: At the party this afternoon Mae Dewey decided it was time to start walking. At 22 months it is a concern that she's not walking independently. We've begun Physical Therapy and have an appointment with an orthopedist on Thursday. It's funny, she achieves the next step on her own at the precise moment we arrange services to assist her. Isn't that typical?

Stow Away, and Topics of a Somber Nature

The photo speaks for itself.

-
On another topic, having pets who have become seniors is a delicate place to find oneself. We, as well some good friends have companions who are now over 12 years old. Many things can happen in 12 or more years to impact the course of our lives. It is difficult to be unselfish when faced with the mortality of those who unconditionally support us. We admire and draw strength from our friends the Weibs as they respectfully care for Gunny. Our hearts are with the Cains as they care for Prospero. For us, we are reminded of Murdoch's age daily. Dave and I often think of Murdoch when he first appeared in our lives in 1997. He was a handful, although now we realize he was a breeze compared to Sam. Murdoch is now 12. We accept every day as a gift and try to prepare for the strength to do right by him when his time arrives.

"Mommy, those rotten goats are out again!"

It cracks me up that a statement like this is spoken in our household. Sure the goats can be a pain, but I enjoy saying "Damn those goats!". For all the mischief they make, they are so affectionate and Bill E. eats burdocks that would otherwise be tangled in the llama's coats. I do love those rotten goats.

Lighthearted and Heartfelt

Lighthearted: Sam Dewey has used a bottle opener to get Daddy a beer since his third birthday. Now he can squeeze limes for Mamma's margaritas, how lovely!

-

Heartfelt: We truely appreciate our friends that are the family we choose. We value those who come to baby welcomings, camping trips and birthday parties. We are thankful for lullabyes written for our children that are woven into the fabric of our life story forever. We are happy people read our blog because they are sincerly interested. Thank you to everyone Sam and Mae know and can count on as family.

First Day of Snow

The serenity of this photo does not reflect the calamity of the moment. I loved hearing my son's first words of the day, "Hey! It's snowing outside!". He spoke with such sincere wonder. When he wanted to play in the snow I was delighted to oblige. It takes forever to bundle all of us up, so I got Sam ready and told him he could play outside (with strict parameters) while Mae and I got dressed. I should have realized Mae needed a practice run. Putting on her winter boots really ticked her off. Mae's gorgeous gold lemay coat is difficult as the lining turns inside out to block her hands from getting through the sleeves. Finally, we were ready with camera. Just then, Sam came in wondering where we were. "Hey Buddy! We're ready, let's go!". He lingered long enough by the door for Jack to express interest in flight. I quickly tried closing the opening to prevent escape. In doing so I whacked Sam's forehead with the door. Here we are, first snow of the season. Mae is screaming. Sam has a fresh whack on his head and is crying. I am ready to pretend this never happened and give up. Once again as my Grammy says, "I hate to tell you Pam, but that's life".

Birth Day

Sam and I a chance to enjoy bedtime routine as a twosome this evening. He lingered in the bath as we talked about when we first met. Though his official birthday is tomorrow, we have been celebrating for two days. I told him we played music in the delivery room and people were dancing. I told how his little bum fit in the palm of my hand. Mostly I remember how he looked knowingly at me with those intense eyes. Before that moment we didn't know what to expect. In that moment everything fell into place. It's funny how much lives can change in just one moment.

Celebration

Sam turns four on Monday, usually we celebrate with a special evening at home with family. Having attended some of his friend's parties we decided this year to reciprocate. After all, he is a little person with friends and an expanding social circle. We had a good day. It was funny watching them transition from delightful, noisy chaos to sitting around the table quietly eating cupcakes and ice cream.

-

There was one casualty, thankfully no one was hurt. During the interactive storytelling performance a few of them crowded into the deep window behind the couch. I heard the sound of glass shattering and was gripped with terror. It fell out instead of in, and the storm window was down. That crappy window needed replacing anyway. Again, thankfully no one was hurt.

Here It Is, My 100th Post

We went to a Halloween party for kids aged 6 and under. There were photos taken of everyone in costume, fun activities, goodie bags, a costume parade, and a pinata at the end. I was nervous when the costume parade headed outside. I wasn't expecting that, Mae was out of her costume and it was cold outside. All I could do was hope for the best as I watched my little Peter Pan march away. Thankfully I was not disappointed. After wrapping Mae in my coat and getting the camera ready, their parade was nearly over. No one was scolding Sam or looking at me with that, "You have your hands full" look. I tried to snap his picture. He had moved forward and was now leading the parade. As you can see, he spotted us and abandoned his post before I could capture it.

After the party we went home to carve pumpkins, toast seeds and have dinner by jack-o-lantern light. What a great day. As my friend Anna says, "Every now and then they throw us a bone". Despite being jacked up on pinata candy (which Sam so sweetly shared with Mae and I), and missing Daddy, the three of us shared a very special day together.

Deweybarn Saturday Night Festivities

I'm glad to have savoured my party days. For now I savour these days, understanding how precious they are.

-

There are certainly times I feel sunk. Overwhelmed and disgusted with myself that not only is every room in my house a disaster, the yard is a mess, and every time the van doors open I quickly get my kids in or out before someone can see inside. There are days when my pre-baby body feels long gone. Speaking of long, my pits, legs and bikini line.....I probably shouldn't even bring that up. It's easy to wallow in this. Thankfully there are times when the big picture becomes clear and I realize putting happy babies to bed is the best reward for the toil of my day.

Creamies in the Minivan

Isn't that somethin? I don't remember ever being allowed to make a mess like that. Notice Mae's shiner? Sam took a poke at her last Sunday while I was taking a quick shower. As Dave said tonight, "She's going to be one tough little girl"

"Daddy, I Miss Kilo"

Random comment from the mouth of babes when our hearts are feeling exactly the same. One year ago, he was with us. I still feel the weight of him walking around and his protective eyes on me. We find his long, stiff black hairs in the dryer lint. When weeding out toys from the kid's toybox, I could hardly see through tears falling on my glasses as I pulled out handfulls of black fur from the corners. A friend of ours summed it up, "He was a local celebrity". He really was. My heart swells with pride when I remember all the connections he made. Kilo was known by school children, Boy Scout Troups, Special Olympians and demonstrations at Vermont State Parks. Also, he is remembered by lost people that he found, by some bad guys with scars from a well deserved bite, or by seizure of something they should not have had in the first place.

Our family has been overwhelmed and moved by support from the community who shares our great loss. Next month we will note the anniversary of his passing. It's hard to believe he has been gone nearly a year. At the same time it seems like an eternity since I've touched him.

Had Myself a Pity Party This Afternoon

Thankfully Dave gave me a little time to sleep in because the Deweybarn was not a pleasant place this morning. Sam and I were on the same track as last evening, it was ugly. I was constantly counting to ten (and counting the minutes until I could bring him to school).
-
After we dropped Sam at school, Mae and I headed for a much deserved lunch date. She fell asleep on our way to the restaurant. In hindsight I realize I should have handled things differently. We went in to the restaurant, I plunked Mae in a highchair at the table with our friends and headed for the buffet to fill our plate. I had two things on the plate when I heard her wailing! Poor thing was really freaked out. After the explosion she was not going back into that highchair. She and I went up together to finish filling our plate, she was fine. We sat down. It is difficult to eat a meal in a civilized manner with a squerming baby on your lap. Anna brought Mae a little dish of pudding and a spoon, which she loved and settled right down. I thought maybe I'd try the highchair again. She had a fit, waved her arms with a spoonful of pudding and whacked me right in the eye. I had an eye full of vanilla pudding and a freaked out child in my arms. After cleaning my face with a paper napkin, I opened my eye to realize I'd wiped out my contact lense! Damn it all! After a tough evening, a morning of the same, I really wanted to enjoy a meal out with friends! Other than the pleasure of seeing good friends, it sucked!
-
Thankfully my contact lense was just tucked up into my eyelid. Outside when we were saying our goodbyes it slid back into place. That would have driven me nuts navigating my way home with one eye out of focus. My friend Barb said, "Good! One less thing to worry about." In the words of my Grammy, "That's life". No kidding.

"He is a poster child for birth control"

The comment above was from my husband, being late on his way to work. He had been on the road 2 minutes when I phoned to ask if he could be late for work. His response was, "No" as the two people on the road were on overtime. My response, "Your son has purple nail polish on one eyelid and red polish poured onto his left eye!" He promptly turned around to assist me with the crisis.

-

Two hours preceding this incident were riddled with drama. Sam was on a mission to test every boundary and to find more ground to test. After he finished dinner I saw him going toward the play room. I was feeding yogurt to Mae and thought it was too quiet. I went to the playroom to find it empty. "Sam? Sam?" "I'm in here Mommy!" I turned the corner to see him standing on the toilet with a purple stripe on his right eyelid. His hand was poised above his left eye with the red nail polish. I screamed and covered the space between us in record time. I immediately started the shower and tossed him in to flush out what I could. When Dave got home he called the poison center. They recommeded flushing it, as we were doing. Sam was in the shower for about 20 minutes. The polish left on his body (eyelid, chest, feet) will eventually slough off. I managed to scrub away the newly applied red polish on the left side of his face.

-

That bugger! After he was dry and calm, he looked at me with his head tilted to the left and said, "Mommy, you're my friend".

-

After everyone was in bed I called my Grammy. I said, "Grammy, I had the kind of night where I'd like to send him back where he came from." Her response, "I hate to tell you Pam, but that's life." She never was one to mince words.

Balloon Chasing

One of the first things I do in the morning is get the dogs out. This morning we were greeted with this beautiful sight! We thought it looked like it might land nearby. Dave was out with the van so Sam, Mae and I quickly dressed and jogged up the road. We were just in time to see them touchdown. Very Cool.

Busted!

If you look closely you'll see the little purple bowl of leftover butternut squash in his chops, which he clearly stole from the table.

-

About a week ago, in the middle of the night, I heard Jack get up from his cushion at the foot of our bed and head downstairs. A few seconds later I heard the crash of a 5 gallon water jug we keep on top of the trash to keep Jack out. I woke up Dave and said, "I think Jack knocked off the water jug and is into the trash". He jumped to his feet and flew down stairs. He said he saw Jack, "Up to his eyeballs in the garbage and his tail was wagging". Dave sneaked up on him, grabbed something off the counter and threw it at him. I heard a growl, then four paws racing up the stairs. Apparently he didn't know what hit him. As tired as we were in the wee hours of the morning, I couldn't stop laughing at the image of Jack being surprised during an unguarded moment.

Looking For Feedback Please.....

Would I be "selling out" if I signed up for Adsense? That means advertisements would appear off to the side of my blog. I'm reluctant, but a little tempted. Please let me know. Anonymous comments are welcome. I have it set up to moderate comments because some foreign dude commented with a link to sell t-shirts once. Pissed me off. I won't block any relevant comments (unless you don't want it published-then let me know). Thank you!

"I'm Sorry, My Dog Ate Your Registration Paperwork"

Tazor, a working dog Belgian Malinois. Enough said.

From The Archive

During the process of buying our barn Dave asked the previous owners what they were going to do with the duck. Their reply, "Why, do you want him?". His name was Hiccups and he had personality. I used to love looking out the window to see him picking through the grass for bugs, or swimming in his little pool. We eventually found a home for him. He deserved a home with a pond and other ducks to play with.

He Means What He Says

Earlier this morning we watched a show about a little boy who's fish died. The beautifully done program explained death as part of the life cycle. It covered a range of emotions and how to remember loved ones that have passed. All of this was geared toward little kids. As I watched Sam taking it in I shed a few tears for Kilo.

Later that morning we were taking a ride with our dogs, Murdoch and Jack. Sam said, "Mommy, Murdoch is sick". I explained, "No honey, he isn't sick. Murdoch has been a part of Mommy's life for a very long time and his body is getting old. Sometimes he is tired". As I was being all philosophical I realized the van smelled like dog food. I thought it was odd so I turned around to see Murdoch eating a pile of vomit. Disgusting, I know. Lesson learned, the boy means what he says.

Part I, Part II, III and IV

Part I-Today was the Green Mountain Iron Dog competition (which was amazing! To be continued in Part II, III and IV). As I have described earlier, my son can be quite the handful so I planned to go after lunch and my daughter's nap. After a call from Dave around 10:00 telling me he'd forgotten to bring the ice cream my plan needed adjustment. By the time I'd gotten everyone loaded in the van I was feeling very sorry for myself. Sam had been not only disobedient, but laughingly behaved with disregard for his own and other's safety. His self preservation instinct finally kicked in when I stopped shouting at him and my affect went flat. I would have frightened myself had I been on his end. Cooperation soon followed. I backed up our van (that we have owned for for less than four months) to the barn door so I could load ice cream. As we pulled away I heard a noise and felt something. Being distracted and feeling pitiful, I thought, "Is that ice cream rolling around in the back? Weird." No. It was the side of our van scraping along the stone wall in front of our house. We now have an eight foot long scrape, dent, and gouges in the paint of our 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan. Fuck!

Part II-Iron Dog was really amazing! Dave does a great job organizing this event. One thing making this year different was location. There were plenty of places to observe the course while taking in a nice fall day on Lake Champlain. Demonstrations from other emergency services were engaging and interesting. This event felt more like a destination; there were places to hang out on a gorgeous day while enjoying a dog friendly event.

Part III, that Sam Dewey! He is so confident. After the drama of this morning I was spent. I was exhausted while watching him take off into the crowd, waiting to see what he would do. He as out of sight and unphased, the bugger! I felt relatively safe with a strong law enforcement presence and knowing a bloodhound from Massachusetts was in the competition if we needed her.

Part IV- Tazor tied for first place in the 100 yard dash with another Malinois! That dog is fast.

Females Can Not Resist a Colorful, Glittery, Vinyl Corset!

The Dewey family was invited to a vivacious, red-headed girl's 4th birthday party today. Sam and Caitlyn have been friends since February 2004 when Sam first attended school (daycare) in Williston. Unfortunately Dave couldn't join us as Green Mountain Iron Dog is tomorrow. He was busy setting up the course and dealing with last minute details. Myself, Sam and Mae had a lovely time. There was a pinata shaped like a castle with ribbons dangling from the bottom. This style of pinata is designed to burst open when the pre-set ribbon is pulled. It was hung from a tree as the children took turns whacking it with at plastic bat. I said, "Isn't that one where you pull the ribbon?". The birthday girl's daddy said, "Yes, but we're going to whack it anyway." We just love him.

Sam and Mae picked out Fairytale Barbie as a gift. She had colorful fairy wings and a gorgeous, vinyl, glittery corset. The birthday girl squealed with delight when she opened it. I think I would have squealed myself, especially if it were in my size.

She's Back!

There is no evidence of injury of starvation, maybe she found a family to vacation with.

PSA: Green Mountain Iron Dog is Sunday, September 30, 2007

For those who don't know, it is a competition for people with their dogs. Over the course of a mile and a half run, there are obstacle courses, a water crossing, a paint ball shoot and other creative challenges. The public is invited to watch or participate. The event is organized by my husband and the Vermont Police K-9 Association. He has a few other cool things of interest, there will be a National Guard helicopter there, an equine rescue group will do a demonstration, dog related vendors will be present, there is a raffle, and the fire department puts on a barbecue. The fun begins around 9:30am at Camp Kiniya in Colchester. It is located off route 2 headed toward the islands. Turn onto Clay point road and follow the signs.

"Hi Guys! I'm Sam Dewey!"

The Thrane family, delightful friends of ours offered to take our children for an evening. Dave and I took them up on it tonight so we could meet with friends who recently built a log home. The Thranes live in a wonderful old neighborhood in South Burlington. When outside packing up for a walk to a nearby park, Sam spotted their neighbors across the street getting into their car. "Hi guys! I'm Sam Dewey! I'm going to the park!". Clearly confidence is something we don't need to worry about with him.

Jennie

I have not seen her for more than a week. Two days ago I stopped putting out her food dish. Every evening I look for her in the usual spot on the rafters in our barn. I call for her when it is time for dinner. Jennie came into our lives May, 1998. Dave called me one morning when he worked night shift in Winooski to request I bring him a can of cat food on my way to work. Naturally I asked why. He told me about a skinny, tortuous shell cat that had been stalking him all night. I told him, "She must have chosen you for a reason, you bring her home!". Often I refer to Jennie is my favorite. Jennie trained Kilo, Sam and Mae how a felines are to be treated. Frequently during the night I find her snuggled up with Sam or Mae. She has the best purr. When pregnant with both my children encouraged her to surround my round belly so my babies could enjoy and become familiar with her purr. For the longest time we have cursed her for relentlessly clawing at our bedroom window during the night when she wants to be let in. Both of us scheme of ways to discourage this behavior. I thought about of covering the window with Vaseline or placing a bucket of cold water on the roof to dump on her when she won't stop clawing on the glass. Tonight, or any night I will welcome the sound of claws on glass. Especially if it means my girl is still here and alright.

We Now Own 21.84 Acres

Of course, 11.64 acres are in Fairfax. We closed on the property today which elevates my level of excitement about the future. Gary, or realtor is so cute. If I could pick a grandpa in Vermont it would definitely be him. During the closing I said, "Today we walk away with the keys!" The look he gave me was adorable. He said, "The lights are on but no one is home, I forgot them!". As we were leaving he asked me not to tell his son, who works for him at the real estate agency. Apparently his son forgot keys once and Gary has never let him forget it. He will meet us at the property tomorrow morning with them. It feels different now that the land and camp is ours. Gary said after we were under contract, the interest in the property soared, "Unbelievable", he said. We knew we were doing the right thing from the start.

Knowing Doesn't Make It Any Easier

I learned early on that as a parent, we will always take the brunt of everything. When Sam was four months old I fell down the stairs with him in my arms. He was fine but I broke a bone in my foot protecting him. Last week he started his new school. He loves it and is excited to go. He gets to ride the bus home and does well in class. At home for several nights now he has been terrible to me. Sam's behavior has been malicious, then he laughs in my face. I can only remain calm for so long before I start screaming and swearing at him. Today I didn't know if I could survive another night of it. Thankfully Dave got up early and took both kids out for an hour and a half. I soaked in the jet tub for 30 minutes before my head cleared, then laid in my bed listening to silence. When he got home tonight he was like a different boy, very sweet, cooperative and nice to his sister. I've been told these storms come in cycles and I know I will absorb the brunt of them, but I couldn't' help but think, "This is why Valium was created".

FAT lip

I am so disappointed our digital camera either has died or needs a new battery. First of all, Sam's first day taking the bus home from school was when it went blank. Next week I will have to pretend it is his first day all over again. I wonder if the bus driver will think, "Is she going to be taking pictures every day he arrives home safely?". Secondly, I would have quite the photo to report today. Dave and Sam went to visit Gramma and Grampa in Connecticut for two days. At their house the door to the basement opens in, to a set of stairs that ends on a cement floor. He took a tumble last night. Thankfully nothing is broken but he is sporting the biggest fat lip I've ever seen. It actually impedes his speech. School pictures are Tuesday. This will be interesting.

I Am Reminded of a Person With Dementia

For more than a year I enjoyed worked for a small business called The Sewing Basket. I recollect an elderly couple coming in for alterations. To us, her husband was hilarious. "What is this place?" His wife, "It's the Sewing Basket dear." His response "The Sewing Bastard? I never heard of such a place! Ha, Ha, Hee Hee". I could tell the wife was exhausted trying to keep her husband in check. I admired her for her loving acceptance and support of him.

This week out of desperation I needed supplies at the grocery store and had to bring both children. Sam is extremely confident and infinitely curious. None of his behavior was malicious, but when he chooses not to ride in the cart and freely explore his surroundings, I am constantly trying to keep him in check. Several people looked at me with pity, some with grins. A few told me, "You certainly have your hands full!". Yes I do. I lovingly accept and support the little bugger, and hope his energy and confidence serve him well later in life. For now, I am frequently counting to ten, controlling my breathing, and reminding myself of that wonderful woman caring for her husband with dementia.

Calamity!

I've been thinking for the past few weeks I haven't had anything good to blog. Today the moment arrived. Sam, Mae, Murdoch, Jack and I attempted a nice afternoon walk. Murdoch is fine off leash, Jack still makes a break for it when given the chance. Sam insisted on pushing Mae in the stroller. We made it 1/8 of a mile when I decided we should turn around to bring the dogs home. There was more traffic than usual as it is picking season at the apple orchard down the road, then one of our neighbor's cats darted across our path and Murdoch disappeared after him. Holding Jack straining on leash and keeping Sam's stroller navigation under control was not worth the hassle. Thankfully, Murdoch returned from his pursuit of the cat and we headed home. Jack and I were walking in the newly dug drainage ditch on the side of our road because he prefers to do his business in the tall grass. Sam decided to follow us with Mae in the stroller. Calamity struck. Sam and Mae got too close to the edge and disappeared down a slop into tall grass. Amidst screaming from both children and a toppled over stroller, I dropped Jack's leash and attempted to correct their position. Of course I slipped and fell down the slope with them. I got Mae's stroller vertical, Sam up, and while attempting to get myself out of the ditch Sam caught Jack's leash. Good to know Sam is on the ball when calamity strikes.

"Mommy, that reindeer is sleeping"

We have been watching the Animal Planet lately. When Sam is torturing Mae or if she's whining "Me, Me, Me, Meeeee" (like she is doing right now, thank goodness for Shaw's supermarket and their reasonably priced wine), it is nice to have something to distract them. We were making zucchini bread this afternoon and watching something about big cats. When Sam told me about the sleeping reindeer I said, "Yes honey, he must be very tired. Let's see what else is on."

Much to Report

I have been (understandably) reprimanded for my lack of blogging lately. Double D has been sleeping in our office/sewing/guest room during the day and we have had a guest staying during the night for the past two weeks. On nights I had free to blog, Sam Dewey has chosen to be the mirror image of me.

Me: "Sam, it is time for bed"
Sam: Furrowed brow, same intonation and stance "Mommy, I am not sleepy!"

That child reminds me of how my mother used to shout at me, "I hope you have 10 kids, just like you!". I didn't realize the spell she was casting meant ten kids all rolled into one child. Dave has said a few times recently, "I think most people might choose to medicate him if he were their child." That may be true but we choose to tough it out, hoping his energy and confidence will serve him well later in life.

I will never tire of images with messy faced babies enjoying treats!

.

Land/building updates: So far, good to go! Our current house appraised for what we needed it to. We have time to process our many ideas for this beautiful piece of woodland before moving forward.

Deweycamp?

Our offer was accepted! If the Deweybarn appraises at what we are hoping, we move forward. After a second look at the camp we realize it could be a comfortable living space for us during construction of our log home, provided we are able to arrange electricity, water and septic. The camp is insulated, wired, and we found a spring fed well on the property that the sellers were not aware of. Appraisal of the barn is scheduled for Tuesday morning, wish us luck!

We're Still Chewing

As usual, have we bitten off more than we can chew? I think we would feel disoriented without mounds of stress in our lives. Last Saturday we had a yard sale, which I'd forgotten how much work they are putting together. We were happy to rid ourselves of accumulation and open up the barn quite a bit. On Sunday we took our yard sale loot to our neighbor's house to view their used hot tub for sale. Which I'm very excited to say we are buying! Our neighbor's house up on the ridge is what planted a seed of desire to build a log home in the woods. During this visit we received a tour of the camp on their property. Before they built their gorgeous house they lived in this amazing camp. It seems every time we visit them we leave with life changing notions. Our next stop was the grocery store where Dave picked up a real estate guide. In it was a property in Fairfax, an 11.64 acre wooded lot with a two story camp. We went from our yard sale whirlwind into a property acquisition whirlwind. Tuesday we toured it, Wednesday we went to the bank about financing, today we made an offer and are meeting with some friends who are general contractors this evening. Before we build we will need to sell the barn and make the camp livable as temporary quarters while the log home is constructed. I'm sure living in a small two-story camp with two little ones and three dogs will produce tons of material for the blog. Wish us luck!

"Hey, Where is My Banana?"

Poor, hard working Dave. The department is doing 12 hour shifts now. On his working days we don't have dinner together. When he's working 6am to 6pm he's usually late because something often comes up, and 6pm to 6am he leaves home at 5:30pm. I've started weight watchers again so leftovers are often not plentiful and sometimes not appetizing to him. I feel terrible sending our bread winner off for a 12 hour shift with hot dogs and the kid's grilled cheese leftovers. Tonight we added a little interest with a fresh banana. Or not.

He's A Good Daddy

Precious

My Murdoch will be 12 in November. He looks great for his age but I've seen some clues to indicate we are in his twilight years. He has some hind end weakness. Toward the end of our walks I can tell he's really tired. I don't hear him jumping up against the door as often when I'm in the barn filling up his food dish. When I contemplate these things my eyes tear up and sometimes I cry. This morning I witnessed this moment between Murdoch and Mae. It took my breath away. Capturing this moment to enjoy for years to come is a gift that means the world to me.

Shit, Shit and More Shit.

People who are not pet owners will be glad to be pet less and probably horrified by this. As Mae and I reached the bottom of the stairs after our nap, I noticed Murdoch's food dish was full of urine (very unusual). Turning the corner I saw two piles of dog shit. In the kitchen next to the water bucket there was a pile of vomit. Of course Mae had a diaper full of it as well. Thankfully these kinds of messes do not happen very often. I find it bizarre that it happens all at once.

Burton Island

We returned from our sixth annual camping trip to Burton Island with 98 pictures. It was difficult selecting photos for our blog, if I were to represent all in our group I'd be downloading photos all night. As always the trip is work; planning, packing, loading the ferry, caring for two children and now three dogs (Jack and Tazor's first trip-oy!). As always we had a wonderful time and look forward to our return next year. This year we invited two families to join us, we loved sharing this special experience with good friends.

Now for the good stuff. Each night presented new challenges, the first night being the worst! Sam woke up, "Daddy, it's dark outside!", Tazor started barking, Mae woke up screaming. Not wanting to wake up the island I left the tent briefly to get her a bottle of milk. This is when Jack ripped a hole in the tent trying to get to me. Jack is conflicted, he can't have me out of his sight but when he is off leash, he is quick to run and not look back. So this is the middle of the night, Mae screaming, Sam awake, Tazor barking and Jack on the loose. We managed to grab Jack, quiet Mae and Tazor but now we have a hole in our tent through which a trained police dog and a fast runner can escape through. We decide the best thing would be for Dave to sleep on Mae's mattress, guarding the newly made exit. Secretly I looked forward to daylight and seeing my husband covered with a little pink sleeping bag. Before settling in I saw him crouched on his knees with his head in his hands.

Me: "What are you doing?"
Dave:"Waiting."
Me:"For what?"
Dave:"The next thing to happen."

Thankfully my husband and I share a similar sense of humor.

Breathtaking sunset on Monday, July 23, 2007

I Would Be Insane...

...to go to the grocery store with just Sam and Mae again. Our list was long. We were there for 90 minutes and spent $175. Our annual camping trip is coming up, we needed supplies and today was the best time to get them. We were clearly the family single people look at and say, "My kids will never be like that". I could imagine my mother and the dirty looks she would have given us had she been an anonymous shopper today. I'm sure everyone on that store knew my son's name by the time we were done, "Sam, I told you not to run. Sam, stay where I can see you. Sam, watch where you are going, people are trying to work and do their shopping, etc." In the baking goods isle we toppled over a display of spices, a family taking pity on me helped us clean it up. As we approached the corridor to the restroom Sam said, "There's the bathroom down there." "Yes honey", I replied. Then, "No sweetheart we aren't going back there....Hey! Get back here now!". To this he assumed my stance with a cross look on his face stomped his foot, pointed to the bathroom and loudly exclaimed, "I have to poop!" It would be one thing if he performed this bodily function on a toilet, but he won't. Not wanting to discourage him from taking this monumental step I took him in. Dead end of course, he wanted to play in the sink and with the hand dryer. At this point we weren't even halfway through our list and I could feel the glares and the pitying looks from other shoppers. I can honestly say today was the most embarrassed I have ever been.

On our way home as I composed this blog in my head, I asked my son, "Did you have fun at the grocery store?" "Yes mommy". What else could I do but laugh? We then stopped at the Orr farm for some fresh eggs. It's a self serve thing where you put money in a can and get your eggs from a refrigerator on their porch. The eggs are great and it's fun to open the side doors on the van so the kids can watch chickens wander around. Today one hen seemed curious about the van. She hopped right in Mae's side, hung out for a few minutes contentedly clucking, then went over to Sam's side. I eventually had to shoo her out, I think she would have come home with us if I'd let her.

It's funny how the most ordinary errands can become an adventure with your kids.

Sam Feeds Mae Breakfast

She must have looked very hungry.

Following Footsteps?

The first summer Dave and I dated (1993), his mother and father were riding their motorcycles from Connecticut to Alaska. They were riding with a "motorcycle gang" The Blue Knights, a law enforcement motorcycle club. Sam does very well with this battery powered cycle. The bike doesn't handle our outside terrain very well, but when inside I am very impressed with his ability to maneuver forward as well as in reverse.

What Does This Look Like?

We have had our llamas, Okemo and Nellie for 5 years now. Whenever they feel the need to sun themselves like this, it always catches me off guard. Thank goodness her ear was twitching, otherwise I would have felt an urgent need to startle her awake.

Late Night Reflections

I worked evenings tonight at the hospital. I was nervous as it was my first official night solo and my orientation was a month ago. Went ok. It was a busy night but I think it was easier than being outnumbered during bedtime with two little ones. I was a little disappointed to miss Mae Leta climbing stairs tonight! Sam was the first to witness this monumental moment and exuberantly notified Dave. Sam can be tough on her at times but he is happy and proud to have a sister.

There is something enjoyable about coming home late and alone when all is quiet. Tazor is asleep in his crate, belly up with his paws in the air. He is the baby of the house and so cute. I poured a glass of wine and wrote out some correspondence. The experience is different when uninterupted. I know I'll be very tired in the morning but this quiet is worth savouring.

Independance Day

It is true we can re-discover the wonders of our world through the eyes of children.

Escape!

Bill E. Goat went out adventuring today. The photo is self explanatory and blog worthy.

The Things You See When You Don't Have a Camera

This is why Dave and I have cell phones. Today as he was riding through the intersection of Route 15, Towers Road and Route 128 he saw something quite picturesque. It was a big macho-type man with a shaved head wearing a Jack Daniels Whiskey logo on his black, long sleeved shirt. This man was taking a brisk morning walk with his pet, a baby pig on a leash. I am tempted to camp out at that intersection with my camera ready to capture this on film. I'll be sure to post it if I do!

Don't Let These Angelic Faces Fool You

When outnumbered by these two there are times I'd like to run screaming from the building.

It's really the pile up of little things that wear you down (and make you laugh at the absurdity of it all). This morning we found that Jack had jumped the gated kitchen to spread the contents of our full trash all over, nasty. About 2 1/2 hours later, we'd run down our options for the morning, made a plan, and got everyone ready (two very brief showers as our well is nearly dry). I went to grab a few extra diapers to bring with us when I saw Nellie. She was swimming in grass so tall, all I could see was her head. Two strands of the fence were down and she was out exploring. We had to laugh at that one. Once we finally left the house we had a lovely morning driving country roads looking for yard sales. We returned home after a nice lunch out, I pulled Mae out of her car seat and she was burning up again. That's four days in a row. Around noon she starts with a terrible fever and only wants to snuggle with me, whine and fuss until bedtime. Poor thing, I love being there for her but today was the day I was outnumbered when Dave went to nap before his night shift. Sam had no fever, he knew I was limited and proceeded to run wild. I hate constantly saying, "Stop that, NO Sam, Do you need a time out?", etc. I tried sitting down with him and some crayons, tried interesting him in trains, cars, play dough, anything! I resorted to putting in "Madagascar", twice. What did people do before VCR and DVD players? I never thought I'd say that and am a little ashamed of myself, but it was either that or lock myself in the basement with a straight jacket.

Midsummer

This is my first Midsummer without a ritual. One of our group is immersed in rehearsing a show, so our planning momentum was off. Now as I watch the sun set I wish I had been more open to exploring alternatives.

I am grateful for the day I had. My son was his usual exuberant self and my daughter is cutting a molar. It made for a demanding day, but delightful nonetheless. I had the opportunity to offer support to a very good friend who has always been an incredible support to me. This is my first week transitioning to a new schedule that allows more time for studying. I also enjoyed driving around in our new-to-us van.

Overall good feelings on a day we celebrate the move from winter to summer.

Shearing Day

Nellie gets her summer haircut. She'll be much cooler for weeks to come.

Father's Day

F. Raymond Dewey

Mae, Sam and Dave Dewey

I made him a nice breakfast of farm fresh eggs, bacon and english muffins. We went out to buy him a fancy new phone for his special day but the damn Nextel store wasn't open on Sunday. At school, Sam decorated a mouse pad and Mae decorated a shirt with her little footprints. He managed to get a nap in this afternoon and we've got surf and turf planned for dinner.

He's a good father to our children, a good husband to me.